Thursday, February 28, 2013

Birthday Confessions


Our birthdays are pretty close together and to celebrate Neo surprised me with a trip to the beach.  We swam in the ocean and in the hotel pool all day and had sex on the couch in our room before our friends showed up.  We swam some more and we all went for dinner and drinks that night.  We sat on an outdoor deck listening to live music and had an amazing time.  In the back of both our minds was the thought that the only thing we would have liked better would have been sharing this day with a swinging couple.  As much as we have talked about swinging and put ourselves out there, it just hasn’t happened yet.  So, this was on our minds that day while we chatted with our vertical friends.

Later that night, after they all went home it was time to get down to birthday business.  There was some kind of party going on in the room next to ours and we spent some time trying to listen to what they were saying.  They laughed a lot and it sent me into my own inebriated giggles.  As we lay snuggled together my dirty thoughts turned to words easily.  It didn’t take long before I started confessing some of my deeper desires.  Something happens when you admit a deep truth to your closest love.  I felt a sense of freedom and acceptance that is hard to explain.  The honesty had me floating on clouds as our hands and mouths moved over each other’s sun kissed skin.   I was embarrassed at some of my confessions, but he said it was ok.  It was all ok.  So, I kept on confessing…

I admitted to both him and myself that Yes, I am attracted to women and if the right one came along I would have sex with her.  Not only do I want to swing with the male of a couple, but the female, too.  I want them both.  I want her and I to share each other and then enjoy our men together. 

I had pushed this side of myself back for so long and for many different reasons, but here I was, truly opening that door inside of myself.  It was Hot….super hot!  Neo and I were overwhelmed with passion for each other as I talked about what I would do to her as he watched.  He couldn’t believe what I was saying.  Something in him recognized the truth of my words and knew that I wasn’t just saying these things in fantasy or just to turn him on.  I really, truly “want” a woman for myself.  We were both completely out of breath at the end of this sexy night. 

Much like the first time I admitted to him I would like to explore the Lifestyle, I feel a new sexual charge taking over me.  It’s a whole new world out there….again!

Now…what to do about not having any luck finding couples who want to play!  I didn’t know it would be such a challenge.  

I've decided

...to keep this blog and continue on using it as my dirty diary.


I'm unashamed of anything I've done and the only change I see making is to be a little more careful of some details I share.

In order to keep the continuity of my story I'll be re-posting a few of the ones that I took down.  In the midst of re-posting I'll be filling in the blanks of my disappearing act.  :)

Looking forward to catching up with you... xoxo


Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Difficulties reaching climax.


This has been on my mind a lot since sometime last summer.  Rye and Liza, on their blogs this week wrote about some of the timing challenges a male can face when trying reaching orgasm, so it’s gotten me thinking again.  The reason I bring this up is not to dwell on it, but to put it out there that as a female we have this challenge as well and it's helpful to discuss it and try to discover what might be going on. As a woman with a history of a low sex drive the last thing I need is to lose interest because I feel like my parts aren't working for me!

Sometime shortly after (what I now call) my sexual awakening in Feb of 2012 I noticed it was becoming increasingly more difficult for me to reach orgasm.  At first I didn’t notice because we were trying so many new things that I wasn’t really thinking about it. But, then a few times too many I was unable to cum at all and with that frustration I started to focus on it.  I’d never had this problem before and even though the sex we were having was less frequent over the previous years, I've always had a fairly easy time reaching orgasm when I was ready to. Because of the frustrations, I tried to pin down what was happening with my body. 

  • ·         Could it be that I was having too much sex?  After all, it was several times a day, on a daily basis for many many months!  Sometimes, yes I could attribute it to my clit just being worn out (Thanks Hitachi!)  But, other times I felt physically fine and couldn't explain it. 
  • ·         Was Neo doing this on purpose?  I often wondered if Neo was so in tune with my body that he was edging me, either on purpose or not. 
  • ·         Was I doing it to myself?  The foreplay was often for hours and felt so good that perhaps I couldn’t let it go.  The orgasms I was having were much larger, full-bodied, and more intense than I’d ever had before, to a point where often I was afraid to let them go because they felt too powerful.  That could lead to the chicken and egg question here…
  • ·         Could it be that I was too focused on it happening to be able to let go?  I didn’t understand that.  Why after so many years of “knowing” myself did I suddenly feel like a fumbling fool just learning the ropes? To be fair I have to consider I was teaching my body to have internal/g-spot orgasms, not just cliteral, and also trying to learn to have multiples as well.


Liza and Rye both mentioned masturbation and this had changed for me, too.  I no longer was able to enjoy masturbation.  In an effort to relearn my body's signals, I tried masturbation and failed at it for the first time in my life.  And even though in so many ways I felt sexually awakened and alive, I felt SEXY for the first time in my life, this did not translate into masturbation time.

The orgasm is just a small part of what sex is for me and being unable to achieve that delicious ending did not happen all the time, just enough for me to wonder what was going on.  On the whole, as you may have read on this blog, I was having mind blowing sex on a regular basis.  But these little bumps were another part of the changes in our sex life that needed to be discussed.  Now that we have almost a year of these changes behind us Neo told me he has noticed a distinct pattern with my moods and ability to reach orgasm and I really hate to admit he's right when he says there is a monthly pattern.  At first I dismissed him as I usually do all things “monthly cycle” related! Haha!  But, now I have to admit, it is definitely a pattern and just knowing this makes me feel better about not orgasming when it happens.  

I’m a science geek, so the hormones involved make sense to me and I can learn to live with that. 
Interestingly enough we have also discovered this same pattern also relates to the intensity level of jealousy I feel on a monthly basis (which can go from zero to a hundred depending on the day). Another thing we are aware of and can be very helpful to know!

In case you’re wondering what that pattern is, here ya go:

2-3 days before and after my period – very horny and what we call the “lovey dovey"stage.
First 2 days during and at the end period – very difficult or unable to orgasm


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Wholesome Addiction - Christmas HOTness

As we ponder how to get our anonymity back...I sit here listening to a fucking fantastic Wholesome Addiction Podcast starring none other than three of the sexiest women I know Bi and Bi, T is for TMI, and Plumptious Pea!  

Go listen!  Merry Christmas and You're Welcome all in one!

Also, go check out those ladies' blogs.  I lurve them ;)

Breach of anonymity

I'm struggling right now for a solution on how to proceed with this blog...a place I love to come to write and share my deepest, sexiest thoughts with you.  It seems very likely that a few friends have found out about it.  The teasing and hints have been a little more than subtle.  I am not ashamed of anything I have written about Neo and I.   Even just three months ago I came to accept that if my friends found this blog I would be ok with it.  But, as some of you may have read in the past month Neo and I have had a few sexy encounters with other people....other people that even if I changed their names and left out and changed details, could potentially find this blog through mutual friends and feel as if their own privacy was violated.  So, I have chosen to take down those blog posts.

The question now is how do I continue from here?  I want to share and I want my anonymity back.  Do I start a new blog entirely?  For sure, I'd have to change my twitter as I believe this was how we were found...as well as we need to find a way to block or re-route our IP address.  
(If any of our friends are reading this, please know that I don't feel comfortable in the thought that you may be checking on sites I am visiting and feel it's a violation of my privacy.)

I could start a new blog and twitter easily, but I don't want to lose contact with the little blogging circle of friends I've come to know and love this past year.  

If any blogger out there has some advice for me I'd really appreciate it.  Please leave a comment or send me an email.  

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Potatoh, Potahto


It was a rare occasion when Neo came home to find me sitting in our great room in a recliner, reading and “supervising” dinner.  He plopped down onto the potato next to me and smiled, happy to be home with us.  I was really into my book, an excellent sci-fi written by a close friend.  But, Neo staring at me with that inviting body was all it took to convince me to turn off my kindle and slip in next to him.  It was only my second time getting on the potato.  I worry that it might cause me back pain, so I don’t venture down onto it.  But, snuggled up to my man I was never more comfortable.  The potato is filled with chunks of memory foam and it molded around us like a cocoon.  

The Potato in our living room

I casually put one leg over his middle and found him to quickly grow from chubby to hard…Oh my!  So, I suggested in a whisper that we should bring this thing into our room. The sparks ignited between us and thus commenced lots of whispers and giggles between us as the college and high school kids were coming in from school telling us about their day.  They are getting used to us being the kids in this relationship.

Later we found ourselves in the bedroom showered and horny. I asked him to bring the potato in the room and we giggled some more at the thought of us sneaking this huge piece of furniture into our room.  The kids would surely notice its absence in the morning and that would be something to explain.  It took some work from both of us to get it lifted into the doorway.  It’s very heavy and bulky.  Finally it fell perfectly into place in the open area of our floor.  Neo immediately jumped into it.  This guy wastes NO time when he wants something.  I snapped his picture on my phone.

Tall, sexy man ;)

But, Poor Neo…I asked him to come into bed for foreplay with me first.
What is foreplay for me?  Worshipping the cock, of course.  I rubbed and squeezed over the top of his cotton boxers.  I love the feel of him through the fabric.  I rubbed his chest and kissed his neck, pinching a nipple every so often, but mostly it was about the cock.  I ran my fingers through the edge of his boxers letting my fingers ever so softly touch the head of him.  I flipped my hand from facing his pelvis to facing his cock and grabbing it in my hand.  Sometimes I would squeeze and pull and sometimes I would barely touch and let his dick slide through my hand like expensive silk.  I love the feeling of it before it’s gotten wet by my mouth.  The skin is so delicate in my hands.  Finally, I pulled him out of his pants and traced my lips with his silky smooth head, hoping for a drop of wetness to leak out for me.  I can’t go on like this long; I must have him inside my lips.  This time I really wanted his pre-cum.  I focused on sucking on the tip like it was a fountain that I need only to find the switch for.  I sucked gentle and used the tip of my soft tongue on his tender spots.  I sucked, pulsing quickly on the very tip and when I heard him moan I went all the way down.  My throat was open for him, it even surprised me. I took him down and let him stay there while I ran my tongue down to his balls. He always moans when I do that and grows harder and deeper into my throat.  I pulled up slowly and sucked him with more force.  My hand found the end of him soaking wet from my throat and I used it to glide my fingers over him, around, down, twisting, between the fingers, and back down.  Then, I added my mouth again and in unison with my hand I fucked him with all of my face and mind.  It was perfect.  He was ready for the potato now.  I lay back on the bed with a lazy, satisfied smile on my face.  He wanted me out of my hot pink slinky top and he pulled the straps down my arms, exposing my plump breasts. 


The time for feeling through our clothing was done.  He was hungry for my skin and took me in like a starving man.  The first suck on my nipple shot through me to meet my clit and I involuntarily arched my back up to him.  He pushed his hand over my panties, not yet aware of how wet or swollen I was for him. Sliding my panties to the side, he dipped his thick finger into my wetness and our mouths joined together moaning into each other.  He hungrily pushed his finger into me and gently used his thumb to roll circles over my clit.  He spread my knees and went down on me, kissing and sucking my lips like true lovers.  As he made out with my lower lips he held only one finger in my pussy, not moving it in any way.  It was torture to feel his warmth inside me and not moving. I tried to rock onto his finger to encourage him, but he was content to leave me wanton while he assaulted me everywhere externally. 

Somehow we gained our wits and he said “Fuck me. Now.”  The demand changed my mind frame immediately and made my blood boil hot. He moved onto the potato and I carefully crawled from his feet to his middle to let my hanging tits slide up and down his cock.  Each time my tits went down his shaft, his reward was my mouth taking him in.  I did this a few times before coming up to taste myself on his lips. I’ve come to appreciate how sweet it is.  Nearly as sweet as sliding down onto him......

Oh. Oh…  This was just as comfortable as we expected- this big fluffy cloud.  It was divine.  My knees were cradled in the foam.  My feet tucked neatly under his thighs and ass. I leaned forward over him and my upper arms were held higher above him in the foam. His face was neatly tucked near my breasts.  I rocked my hips up and down and we pushed together testing the depths.  My feet under him pull him up into me. We were both full of “Oooh’s and Wow’s…this is amazing.”  I sat up and leaned back comfortably and rode him.  It was incredible.  I snuggled down onto his dick in a way we’ve rarely experienced in this position. I was lost in sensations and my body took over for both of us.  I moved ever inch of myself over his hardness with an abundance of time and energy.  I put a vibrating egg between us and experience a mind blowing orgasm which I can now say was like the *Egyptian Ankh orgasm. 

It began as warmth filled my lower abdomen and felt like there’s a burning glow outside of myself, then it radiated upwards ever so slowly.  As it rose up it also intensified at each chakra area as it passed up through me... upwards to my chest and finally my neck where it exploded out of me. I focused so intently on it that I felt like I was gathering up the sexual energy as it exited my body and flowed over me and washging back down into the top of my head.  It was incredibly intense (to say the leaste) and I had this outside "observing self" in my head saying, “I can’t believe this is happening, can you?” 

Afterwards, I was breathing deeply and felt full of energy when normally after such an intense orgasm I would collapse on top of him. So, I took advantage of it and kept riding him.  I had a few moments to feel slightly aware of him being there with me, so caught up I was in the wave of pleasure that had such a tight grip on me and would not let go.  I grabbed the Hitachi to see how far I could take this wave.  The vibrations sent me into even more intense pleasures.  I was hanging on the top of orgasm after orgasm.  I did’t know where one began and the next ended.  I didn't even know if orgasms were what I was experiencing? I thought it could be I’m on the edge of a cliff and the pleasure was tormenting me, never actually releasing.  I let it do this.  Over and over.  I don’t know how much time passed.  I didn't noticed I had breathed in and out so deeply my long hair went down my dry mouth and throat and I was gasping for air. 

He lay there looking at me, amazed.  It’s to his credit that he didn’t think I was a complete crazy person with the wildness display and look of me. When I asked, he said he thought that it was HOT and to just ask his insanely hard cock.  When I “come to” pulling the hair out of my mouth and from my face, I also wonder if I’d hurt him.  No, he said…he was ready for more.

Now, I was the one ready to collapse.  He helped me lay onto my back.  The dip our bodies created in the potato was awkward so we moved my hips to become elevated with my head down in the dip.  That worked really well.  I was soaking, I had soaked us both.  He slid into me and I felt cradled again by this big foamy giant and comforted with each thrust.  I was so relaxed. I looked up and saw him there large and powerful.  He owns me in ever beautiful way and he knew it. He’s held this erection for so long I know he needed me to beg for his cum.  I wanted it.  I begged him to give it to me. I had to be more convincing than that, so I pleaded some more.  He can’t resist my gentle whimpers.  I’ve easily gone from powerful woman on top to begging mistress below.  I’d do anything for this man and his hot, hot cum.



……..Neo says, “We need to find a way to pack this thing in the car for road trips.”   

* Egyptian Ankh orgasm – click here to find out more.


Saturday, August 11, 2012

Let's talk!


Hi Kinks! I'm missing you.  Last week I was only moments away from opening my laptop and writing some sexy stuff when "BOOM!" ....Life dealt us a big fat kick in the teeth.  We WILL regroup and recover.

So, let's talk.  We joined a swinger site.  I'm not sure where we are going with this, but I want to (once again) dip my toes into something new.  It gives me butterflies of excitement and a flat out fear fills my gut.  But, I recognize it's not a fear I want to run from.  We filled out our little profile and have been tweaking it and browsing, seeing what's out there.  I dunno.  It's scary.  We have no idea what we are doing, what do we say?  It's scary putting yourself out there like that!  Fear of rejection comes up one minute then the next we are filled with a sexy gusto-- "Damn, I am hot."

I had the thought today that maybe some of you could help us out.  We need some tips and advice for newbies.  Let's start a dialogue.  I would LOVE to have a mentor or something!!!

I see a big issue for us as a couple is that we have been married 20+ years and this is really putting us in a dating scene again and that is SO foreign to us.

Questions that are coming up at the moment:

1. When going to a private swing party.  How are newbies usually treated?
2. Are we expected to participate on the first visit?
3. How do you politely say No to a couple (or single) who is interested in you but you are not back....but you would like to be friends?  (It feels so much like high school!)
4. How do you set your boundaries at a party or when you meet people?  Do they just come right out and say it?
5. I am worried about people touching me without permission.  Will that happen?
6. Is it acceptable to just watch and be watched?
7. Do all of these questions make me seem like I'm not into it?

If you want to write us privately and come along for this ride you can reach us at kinkynastassja at gmail dot com.

Or, just comment away right here!

By the way, do you guys think it's about time for another hot photo shoot?  I do ;)~