Friday, March 1, 2013

The first "couple" of mistakes

We were starting to feel a little disappointed that we have been on a lifestyle website for several months and looking to meet other couples, but so far we had only had one date set up (they cancelled the morning of) and others who would email us positively but then just quit responding.  We changed our profile several times making it sound more like us.  That seemed to help and three couples started a conversation with us during the week.

The weekend came along and with it being the only time I had off work in 6 weeks, we were going to make the most of the entire weekend. Saturday we took the boat out to the coast by ourselves and it was heaven….just heaven out there.  Neo did some fishing and swimming and I did some nude sunbathing and photography taking ;)

On the way home Saturday night we got a message from a couple in another town and we mentioned to them we were going to a beach near them the next day if they wanted to meet us.  Sunday morning we got up still nicely exhausted from our boating day and we drove to the beach.  The couple emailed and said he had to work, so they couldn’t join us.  Late in the afternoon she text me and said her husband would be home around 6pm  if we wanted to come over and have dinner with them; They lived fairly close to where we were.  I said sure but keep in mind we had no fancy clothes to change into and only a pool shower at our disposal.  She offered for us to use their shower and spare room if we felt the need. 

On the way there I was a nervous wreck, but excited and giddy at the same time.  Actually, I think Neo was more nervous than I was ;)  Luckily, I found some extra clothes in our truck from the boating day before, so we stopped at a drug store to freshen up. As we got closer to the house the nerves really kicked into high gear.  She texted us at the last minute to say her husband would be running late, but we could still come and hang out until he got there.

Let me take a moment to say we had previously decided we would only meet someone in public for the first meeting AND only with both of them we were breaking two rules…  After our texts back and forth I felt comfortable enough with her to do this.  It may have been mistake #1.

We pulled up and she came outside to greet us.  She was absolutely gorgeous in her pictures, which was what made me excited to meet them both… I really looked forward to flirting with her, but in person she was a little less so (in my eyes).  I complimented her and told her she was beautiful.  She had (I’m not sure how to put this…) a giant ass --which Neo fell instantly in love with.  He truly likes big butts and he cannot lie.  LOL!

We got inside and met her big puppy, which helped break the ice.  After just a few minutes Neo handed her a few beers from our beach cooler to put into her fridge and as she started to do so it became like a metaphor for me in slow motion-- her putting his beer in her fridge.  I looked down at my hand holding a water bottle and it was shaking uncontrollably, so I set it down and headed over to the couch to sit.  There was talking going on but all I could think was “OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE?  And HOW am I going to get out of this?”  Being in her home, her private space must have freaked me out.  Now I was stuck at her place, stuck making idle chit chat while we wait on her husband, and stuck having dinner with them before I felt it was polite to leave.  It is that politeness in me that ruins me every time!  What I really wanted to do was grab my husband and run like a bat out of hell.  I had promised myself I would speak up and tell Neo when I wanted to go, but so quickly into walking into her house I couldn’t do it.

Ok, so we sat down, the two of us on one couch and her on the other.  She was making idle chit chat and doing her laundry, being very casual folding her little thongs.  We had some laughs and got to know one another a bit.  We did actually have some fun with her.  But, things got a little weird for me when she mentioned they'd brought home a girl from the bar just the night before and ended up “banging her until past 4am.”  She said they were being “very bad.”  Hey, I know swingers do this and I’m not judging.  I just found it a little off-putting to be hearing about the girl you fucked just a few hours ago when we are just meeting for the first time.  She also mentioned they were from up North (we live in the South) and they have found northern swingers are much different than southern.  I didn’t get a chance to ask her what she meant because her husband called and interrupted us.  (Out of curiosity, if any of my readers have an insight on this please do share it!)

After speaking with him she kept mentioned we should all go eat at an Italian place across the road and how they have magnificent garlic rolls… GARLIC?  Red flags went up for Neo and I. 

The husband arrived home almost two hours later.  First impression was, he's short and I am not attracted.  I am a fairly tall woman and I tend to not be attracted to men shorter than me. Maybe I thought I could try if the personality was there and I was attracted to his wife, then it would be no big deal. Possibly mistake #2.

We decide to walk across the street from their place to eat pizza.  They are regulars, everybody knows their name there.  Before we sat down Neo realized he forgot his wallet in our truck because we had been on the beach, so I end up sitting down at the table with the two of them.  The waiter came over and overheard me say to the couple, “it smells soooo good in here” and he said with a flirty smile, “Oh, it must be me you’re smelling.”  Without missing a beat I looked at him and said “Are you on the menu?” 
Can you even imagine the looks on their faces?  I blushed so hard.  I said to him that I was sorry for that, but I just had to and he admitted he walked right into that one. Possibly mistake #3.

Ok OK!  Looking back this was probably a BIG mistake and very rude and had the date been going better I might not have done that.  The waiter was a hottie and was flirting with me so I totally gave it back without thinking.  The minute it was out of my mouth I was blushing and regretting it.  (On the other hand, someone we clicked with would understand my humor and welcome it, I should think.)

Neo came back to the table and had no idea this has happened and later told me he was wondering why the atmosphere had changed when he got to the table (LOL!)  Oh, we died laughing at my slipup the entire car ride home.

At dinner I was so nervous and could only think of how to get us out of this situation.  I am practically silent and cannot eat, not even a half a slice of pizza.  Looking back, it was my first experience with a panic attack of this magnitude. All three of them were staring at me like something was wrong with me because it really was amazing pizza.  I thought it was some kind of “sign” that they weren’t into us when they kept insisting we all try the garlic knots.  Could that have been their code for No?  I was overthinking things…  The guys talked about (boring) work stuff and us girls didn’t talk about much of anything.  It felt awkward. 

We got back to their place and things only got worse.  They put sports on the tv (another sign?) and we weren’t into it that much.  We all tried to talk.  They asked us how long we’d been in the lifestyle…not long of course; they were the first we’d ever met!  Then, she got up to answer a text from a friend…a little bit of drama there (more red flags) and she continued to do some laundry.  I finally convinced Neo we had to get out of there.  There were some awkward goodbye hugs. 

The next day we wrote them thanking them for a nice dinner but that we didn’t feel a connection with them.  They acted totally surprised and said how great we were and said they wanted to hang out again.  It was all very confusing for me and I didn’t think I ever want to do that sort of thing again!  

The next weekend we had our good friend’s birthday party to attend…with full intention of being done with our Lifestyle experiment.  It’s funny how when you’re done with something in life you are tested on that conviction…

1 comment:

  1. The Journey through the lifestyle can be long, bumpy and very trying. When you are in the comfort of your own home with your own partner things seem very simple and extremely horny. The reality can be very different.

    Don't be discouraged. Things will happen when and if they are meant to. You didn't do anything wrong at all. It just wasn't meant to be. It sounded like the other couple were fairly experienced and were just letting you go at your own pace. You learned from the experience so it wasn't a complete waste.