Tuesday, July 24, 2012


My idea of Sanctuary

Sometimes this happens; I go down the rabbit hole.  It’s dark and scary, but I know it well.  My love, he’s always there at the top pulling me up and out.  I try to figure it out; how did I get here?  Did I do something wrong?  Is it PMS?  If it hangs on, I say “Please let it be PMS,” because at least I know that will pass. 

So this happens; I go quiet.  I think being introspective helps me, but now maybe I think it just keeps me down there.  So, I'm trying to talk it out.  I seem to turn outside stress into a personal attack on myself and that’s never a good time.  Maybe that is my lesson this time.  I always get a lesson.  I want to let the past go forever.  I want to learn how.

Neo tells me I am fine, just coming down from a 9 month high.  He took me there, to new places and delights.  I loved every moment.  I didn’t want it to end, so I gorged myself on it…on him, knowing it eventually would end.  He says life is lived in waves and going that high means I had to come down some time…but that it also means I'll come back up :)

So dear readers, that is what’s happened here.  I’m overwhelmed and shut down for the time being.  I’m focusing my energies on my love and my family.  I’m feeling over-shared and needing a little space to regroup.  There have been a lot of changes around here and I just have to backpedal a little.

Normally, I don't want to write about something negative going on in my life, but I thought maybe I would share and let others out there know this happens to us all and it will pass.  

I'm also adding a new job to the ones I already have.  It's a good thing, a big foot in the door that I have been waiting for.  I think when I start there in the next days or week ahead I will be back to myself. 


  1. *hugs* I saw your note on my blog, and can perfectly relate to this feeling. I'm sorry your growing through it. I consider it "emotional growth" and you know growth is never easy. It will pass, you're right. I hope it doesn't take too long.

  2. Sometimes we need to take a step back to focus on what is important. Everyone does this. We did it for more than a year. We hope that the transition that lies ahead is an easy one, and we assure you that we will be here when or if (preferably when) you return. Sending nothing but positivity your way. :)

  3. That is what sanctuary is for. To have a place to yourself so you can hide and reflect...