|My idea of Sanctuary|
Sometimes this happens; I go down the rabbit hole. It’s dark and scary, but I know it well. My love, he’s always there at the top pulling me up and out. I try to figure it out; how did I get here? Did I do something wrong? Is it PMS? If it hangs on, I say “Please let it be PMS,” because at least I know that will pass.
So this happens; I go quiet. I think being introspective helps me, but now maybe I think it just keeps me down there. So, I'm trying to talk it out. I seem to turn outside stress into a personal attack on myself and that’s never a good time. Maybe that is my lesson this time. I always get a lesson. I want to let the past go forever. I want to learn how.
Neo tells me I am fine, just coming down from a 9 month high. He took me there, to new places and delights. I loved every moment. I didn’t want it to end, so I gorged myself on it…on him, knowing it eventually would end. He says life is lived in waves and going that high means I had to come down some time…but that it also means I'll come back up :)
So dear readers, that is what’s happened here. I’m overwhelmed and shut down for the time being. I’m focusing my energies on my love and my family. I’m feeling over-shared and needing a little space to regroup. There have been a lot of changes around here and I just have to backpedal a little.
Normally, I don't want to write about something negative going on in my life, but I thought maybe I would share and let others out there know this happens to us all and it will pass.
I'm also adding a new job to the ones I already have. It's a good thing, a big foot in the door that I have been waiting for. I think when I start there in the next days or week ahead I will be back to myself.