Fantasy for Us to Role Play.

 I knock on your door and you greet me all dressed up in a see through bustier with stockings held up with garter belts. I'm nervous because this is my first time going to a professional for sex.

You comfort me and you start rubbing me and then you start to slowly undress in front of me, almost in a slow dance. You begin to unbutton my dress shirt. Then you start to unbuckle my belt. I get so excited by the time you touch my zipper, I grab you by the arms and pin you to the wall.

 I pull your head back and suck hard on the middle of your neck. I rip what clothing you have left on and throw them to the wood floor beneath us. I put both my hands tightly around your neck and slide my cock between your legs.

 Then with you still pinned to the wall I remove my right hand from your neck and begin smacking your now dripping slit, over and over till you're almost numb. I see rope showing from a cracked open dresser drawer. I remove it and forcefully wrap it around neck. Your eyes light up with excitement never feeling a man take control of you this way. I throw you to the bed. Spreading your legs revealing your swollen labia, so irresistible I take a bite and start licking uncontrollably. The force is so strong you start to squirm, so I wrap the rest of the rope around both of your ankles and secure them to each side of the bed. Your hands are still free and there is no more rope. I rip off my shirt and use it to tie your hands together and around one pole of bed. Now you cannot escape. What I have come here to get done to me has turned into me playing out my own fantasy onto you.

With your legs spread firmly apart I continue licking and biting your swollen cherry pie. I have never tasted a pussy so sweet, so experienced, that I continue licking you up and down applying more and more pressure on your clit. I penetrate you with my middle finger, flicking your spot from the back to the front. You are swollen inside and getting more so by the minute. Your becoming tighter by the second, dripping from the inside you scream, your insides start throbbing uncontrollably. You release for the first time in your life. There is a lot and it’s not stopping, it's gushing out of you. I quickly insert my hard massive cock into your still squeezing pussy, you scream, your head shaking back and forth your orgasm gets more intense. I'm forcing all of me into you. Harder and harder, till the force makes you break the post off the bed as you pull your hands towards me. I pull my dick from deep inside you and cum all over your pussy, ass, and clit.

Meetings and oily bodies

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An unexpected revelation - A deeply personal journey

My personal reaction to the Fifty Shades of Grey series, so far.

This is not meant to be a review on the book, but a personal reaction to something I have read and I'd like to share.  Perhaps in sharing I can help someone in some way. 

Reading book one of the Fifty series I was nicely turned on by some of the sex scenes.  True, it’s not completely up to par with the smut I like to read, but it has some good tension and some good locations I would enjoy.   I really don’t like her calling her vagina her “sex” but I can understand it reaches a larger audience that way. 

What has happened since moving on to book two, Fifty Shades Darker, was truly unexpected.  I didn’t expect these books to put me into a thinking mode (at all), but that is exactly what has been going on the past few days.  I have been reading day and night trying to come to grips with this book and the feelings that are being mirrored within me.   Then it hit me; when Christian thinks he is about to lose Ana and falls to his knees switching from dominant to submissive, I emotionally fell to mine.  This makes sense to me; I have been there. 

As a person who was also abused as a child (sexually in my case) I had found my lifeline in Neo.  He was my personal savior all those years ago and continues to be.  He lightens me, makes me laugh, and loves me unconditionally (all the things Ana provides for Christian.)  I felt the need to control things and situations.  I made things around me orderly to feel like I was in control of something.  I welcomed gaining weight in order to deny my beauty and unwanted attention from men.   In my 20’s I realized why I was doing all of these things, but still I found no way to really change it.  The realization was helpful, but took lots of time to unfold.  

Now that we are exploring a much more intense and deeper sexual connection I wondered how I got from there to here.  How did I let go and get the past out of my bedroom?  It was a struggle sometimes, those infinitesimal moments that reminded me of a wrong doing from childhood and threatened my sexual satisfaction with my loving husband.  My brain struggled against me.  It was a conversation within telling me over and over “It’s over. Long ago. He loves me. He’s safe. I’m safe.”   I never knew when this would happen.  The length of time between those unbidden thoughts seemed to increase over time and I would relax some, but then hit me again unexpectedly. 

I have learned that to be rid of them is impossible, so I changed tactics. 

It started slowly, over a year’s time.  I found new friends who made me laugh.  I got rid of old ones who didn’t anymore.  I started going out and having fun with my new girlfriends.  With the detachment of our children growing up, I turned my attentions 100% on Neo.  Perhaps I made it a decision to try it for a weekend or some time frame, that part isn’t clear.  Once I did that, the floodgates opened.   My love poured out over him.  All of the set rules for my love flew out the window.  I tended to his every need and desire.  I wanted to.  I wanted to be everything for him and give him ALL of me.  (Anytime, Anywhere…NO Rules.)

I didn’t even realize all of the rules I had set for him until we started to explore and he was so incredibly tentative.  Touch me this way, not that.  Don’t say this or that.  Don’t move my body in this way or that.  Don’t sneak up on me…

Giving myself over to him took all control from my head.  There is nothing for me to control if I am giving him everything he desires.  And then a revelation, there is nothing to “think” if I am submissive to him.  That freed me. 

We have done a switch and it is something so deeply satisfying, I feel I’ve needed this for so long. We are still developing the lines between dominant and submissive and what that means to us in all aspects of our life.  It is quite enjoyable that we are on the same page and enjoying the learning process. 

The trust I have for him is implicit.  The love I have and have always had is overwhelming.  The journey we are now on is beyond my wildest dreams.  I wish this for anyone who has been through something difficult and come to the other side.

As far as the books are concerned, I am not finished with them yet.  The third one I see is titled Fifty Shades Freed, so I can only guess that this further mirrors my journey in some way. 

Am I truly free?

Your comments are welcome here…

Our Happily Ever After - Part 1

I was a 10 year old skater boy, with no worries in the world doing my thing skateboarding everyday. I was unhappy that the summer was coming to an end but excited and thrilled to a new start in my life. This year would be the most important year of my life and I had no idea how important it would be. It was my first day at a new school learning where all my classes were in an unfamiliar place. Third period came, band class, there she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Everything about her was just incredible from her hair to her skin, her knock out body, and a smile to die for. Little did I know that I had just met a Princess; it was very hard for me to think that a person like me could ever come close to someone so perfect. My best friend didn’t seem to share the same feeling as me, so to speak. Oh we talked about her, I explained how I felt about her. Then he seemed to make it a competition. He had no problem approaching her and asking her out within the first week of school. I had never felt so hurt in my life thinking it was over for me. He had taken my girl and I was stuck with her best friend. How shitty right? Well it wasn’t all bad; we all got to hang out together and I guess this was a good thing because she got to see how much of a dickhead my best friend was compared to me. After a few weeks my buddy and she broke up. My relationship with her best friend was over pretty quickly.

7th grade

 A few months into school year I gathered up the courage to ask her out. She was hesitant at first and I was scared to death yet some way, some how it happened. That part is really a blur to me; I just remember we started holding hands as we walked out of band class together with the proudest strut I had ever had before. I just wanted the whole school to see what I had accomplished. She was with me and at that moment there was nothing anyone could say or do to change that. We would see each other in the halls between classes but the moment that really sent me over the top was the meeting by the stairs at the end of the school day.

  That was the day we had our first kiss.

 It had to have been one of the scariest moments in my life, the pressure was on, she had already kissed my best friend. I had something to prove. As our lips touched and our mouths started to open I can remember feeling as if I were in heaven, but wait she started twirling her tongue around in circles just like her best friend did when I had kissed her months before. So after we were done I made a little joke about it probably because I was so nervous. Hey do you and your friend practice on each other because you kiss exactly the same which was far from the truth. Our souls met that day and nothing could ever compare to it.

 We became very close during middle school and went our separate ways during the 8th grade. I remember how we broke up telling each other, if it was meant to be we would be together again. I thought of her a lot during this time apart, always knowing she was the one, my true love. I would pass her in the hallways of high school. Seeing that look in her eye, knowing we were meant to be together and yet still living our separate lives. Then as time passed and I no longer got to see her every day, it made me realize exactly how much she meant to me.

 I had my friend give me the phone number to the pay phone in the high school lunch room and made it a point for him to answer the phone and have her there when I called. Yes, the friend that dated her before me; he had to, he owed me and he knew it. I am so thankful she picked up the phone that day. That day I told myself she is the one and I could no longer live without her. She tried to deny her feelings for me, stating that she could not leave the person she was with and said goodbye. Knowing that she was lying to herself I called her the next day. She pulled the player out of me forcing me to talk her into coming over to my house after school. Then she told me she would think about it, "only to talk", she said. My answer was, "of course, nothing more, I just miss you and I want to see you for a little bit and catch up on each other."


  Well, catch up on her because she knew what was up with me. I had dropped out of high school not once, not twice, but this was the third time I had dropped out school, as you can tell by my grammar. I never liked school much; I could never catch on to other people telling me what to do. Big mistake, but fuck it, back to the story. I waited for her to arrive all day looking out the window. Finally I see her car coming down the road and she stops at the stop sign in front of my house. I wait for her to pull into my yard, but she just sits there at the stop sign. I had no idea what she was doing, was she getting ready for me? What could she possibly be doing just sitting there that she couldn’t do in my yard that was right in front of her? So, I head to the front door thinking to myself what is she doing? Well you guessed it she was debating in the car and guess who won?  Not me, she drove off before I could make it outside. Remember, we had no cell phones back then and she lived 20 minutes away from me. So I had to wait for her to get home to call her. I tried to anticipate every stop light every mile of road she had to travel before arriving at her house so the phone would be ringing right after she arrived but not before. She picks up the phone and I ask her why didn’t you pull in and her answer was “why didn’t you come out”? Well, we all know she got cold feet, she was still seeing another person at the time. So I begged her please come back to my house tomorrow, I will be waiting in the driveway for you this time, I swear. This is why I posted my waiting in the driveway picture for you; it’s an ongoing theme for me to be waiting for her in the driveway.

Waiting for her return from Girl's weekend trip

She returned and I was waiting this time. She came over and we hugged. Feeling her in my arms again after being apart for so long was such a wonderful feeling and at that very moment I told myself to never let her slip away again. I don't know if she felt the same, but I had no intenstions of letting her leave me even if I had to steal her from another man, even though we all know she was always mine. We shot some pool, talked about what was going on in our lives, she reminded me of her boyfriend, I just thought to myself "not anymore. I am the only one for you and I'm ready to claim you forever."

Plus I had a pool table, you can't compete with that.

Part 2

coming soon

All about skipping school and the first time we made love and when her boyfriend found out.

Wholesome Addiction Podcast - Thank you!

One innocent day I was playing around on my dirty twitter and these guys got into our conversation...something to do with oral fixations and gum loving ladies ;)

Turns out they found me through Red Lion Street, so here's another thanks to Captain Shame for that.

To my surprise and delight the guys added me to their 18th podcast and recommended this hot story.
And they also enjoyed The Hot Garage and others...

Except they enjoyed " I enjoyed sucking on him and watching his eyes glisten with hunger for me.  He really knows how to give me that look.  Then, he got down in the water with me and with the dildo still riding inside I grabbed his cock and used it as another toy to play with myself, pushing it into me, making room.  I came hard with two cocks in me, throwing my head back, splashing water all over, and moaning loudly into the quiet night."


I just wanted to send a BIG Thank You to them and share the podcast with you here.

Wholesome Addiction Cast 18

50:40 starts the bits about us

Wholesome Addiction Archives

And just to show you some more love here's some more candy ass for the guys *wink wink*
If you love these guys like I do, go to their twitter and tell them Nastassja and Neo sent you.

TMI Tuesday: Fine Dining

TMI Tuesday - Fine Dining

You are having dinner at the best restaurant you can imagine.  Do not concern yourself with over-eating, or other restrictions. We want to know what you like best.  What will you have for:

1. Before dinner wine, apertif, or cocktail?
I had to look up "apertif"... I prefer a blowjob before dinner, so I guess you can figure out my before dinner apertif.
2. Appetizer?
Spinach artichoke dip with fresh crispy chips
3. Soup?
Blue Crab Bisque
4. Salad?
I love a good salad with fresh blue cheese dressing with large chunks in it. 
5. Wine or other beverage with dinner?
Water, NO lemon.  
6. Entree?
Blue cheese crusted Petite Filet, medium.
7. Side Dishes?
Steamed broccoli
8. Dessert?
Molten lava chocolate cake
9. After dinner drink?
I prefer to do other "fun" things after dinner besides drink.  But, I will have a light beer occasionally, especially with wings.
10. Which 3 people would you invite to dinner: (Must be famous, well-known, living or dead, not fictional)
For sex appeal- Angelina Jolie, double prizes if she brings Brad
For great conversation- Madonna...this woman has some great stories, I'm sure.
Because you detest them- (I don't care about famous people enough to detest anyone,...how about Rush Limbaugh)

Bonus: Your lover brings you breakfast in bed.  What's on the tray?  Hot coffee with cream and splenda, peanut butter toast or a cream cheese everything bagel, and a variety of toys...nipple clamps, a feather, a blindfold...

Ok, so now you know what some of my desires are in the restaurant, who is taking me out?

If you want to know more about TMI Tuesday click this link! 

My Surprises & a Tata promise

It has been a very busy couple of weeks and I haven't been able to keep up with blogging.  I hope you sweeties out there will hang with me as I'm sure this will happen from time to time.  Rest assured there is still a LOT of sex going on here and many new things we are still trying and want to share.

I seem to recall promising a titty shot...will this one do? Soapy tatas are a lot of fun ;)

I came home from an over 14 hour day exhausted and horny.  Neo had been teasing me on Twitter all day and once he got off work he mentioned that he went shopping for some sexy surprises for me.  I took a shower and got in bed waiting for my surprise.  I asked him if we could turn off the lights and snuggle with just a candle and he said "Candle? Ok."  He lit a new candle I hadn't seen before.  It smelled so good, like a vanilla caramel dessert.  There was a little plastic scoop that was next to the candle and I was full of butterflies anticipating what hot wax would feel like.  He snuggled up next to me and we started making out as his hands lightly trailed up and down my body.  I was sleepy and relished laying there breathing in his neck smells and licking him gently.

Then he pulled out some nipple clamps and waited for my reaction.  I was happy to see them! :)  I had asked him for some a while back because my nipples have been increasingly demanding attention.  These had a little screw on each to adjust the amount of squeeze you want them to have.  Neo was nervous that they would hurt me and was surprised at how tight I wanted them.  The feeling was a sharp pain at first then a deep relaxing feeling that came over me.  My eyes rolled back in my head, so I don't know any other way to express to him how much I was enjoying it.  He kept taking them off and putting them back on, one at a time as I melted into his warm body.  Then we made out some more with them on me.  I loved it.

He removed the clamps and reached over me to scoop up some of the melted wax.  I closed my eyes waiting for it to be very painful.  But, instead I felt a nice warming sensation on each of my nipples.  It was like he drank hot cocoa with is mouth and then sucked each one.  Again, the smell was wonderful and added to my experience.  I definitely want a lot more wax play!

I thought the surprises were over for the night, but next he got up from the bed and came back with a ball gag.  Now, this has always been the one thing that in porn or movies I do not like and Neo KNOWS this.  I said to him I really didn't want to have one.  But, being that he is so good to me and I trust him I decided to go ahead and try it for him.  It was a black plastic ball with holes in it so I could breath easily.  It was difficult for me to keep my jaw open for it and after a short time I asked him to take it off.  I was just too tired for the strain of it.  He liked the look of it and wants us to try again later when we are in that sort of role.  It wasn't the right time for it, but I'm sure on another day it will be exciting for us both...and I will have him take pictures.

It's so wonderful to have a loving, trusting relationship and to be trying new things.  After talking a minute about the day and how much I love my surprises we started making out again and got hot for each other.  In no time he had my legs up over his shoulders and he was pounding into me.  Because we had family staying with us, I pulled a pillow over to bite down on and he shoved a pillow behind the headboard.  We did our best "quiet" fucking.  It was so so good to be fucked hard after a long day's work. He pulled out and came up to let me suck his cum and enjoy his orgasm.  I slept good and hard that night.

TMI Tuesday: Here & Now

(I apologize for the funky white/red formatting...I'm working on it!)

This is week 2 of my little chest cold keeping me from the blog :(   I only have the energies for basic life skills and sex.  I miss writing and sharing and as I am new I didn't have very much saved up for my absence.  However, I wanted to participate in TMI Tuesday.  

*Waves to you all*

1. Are you wearing any jewelry? What?

My wedding band only right now.  I find jewelry to be irritating when I'm not feeling well.

2. What are you listening to now?

Silence.  Which is odd for me.  Last night I was listening to Foo Fighters and some good mashups while I cleaned my room (Felt a little like my old self for a short time).

3. What is the last piece of entertainment media (i.e., cd, download, book, DVD) that you purchased? Do you recommend it?

I am bad.  I do not "purchase" much.  *Pirate eye*  

OH!  I bought 'The Sex Experiment' book for my kindle.  HIGHLY recommend it!  5 stars and all that :)  I'm devouring it slowly and that never happens!

Go to The Sex Experiment blog /website if you have never been.  Seriously!

4. What kind of undergarments are you wearing right now? Care to post a photo?

A black sports bra for super comfort and some dark red silky undies.  I'll get you a sexy photo another day.  Pinky promise.  

5. What is your current mood?

Aloof, happy, anxious for the Girl's weekend coming up.

6. What is the best looking thing about you today?

My hair.  It's super sexy.... thick, messy, and wavy.

7. Fill in the blank. Tonight I’m looking forward to  Neo coming home, grabbing me from behind and taking what's his.  The sexy ninja. 

Bonus: Tell me something good…anything you want to share. Just do it.

His hands have found my neck, timidly at first.  No longer timid.  I am enjoying the look in his eyes and the deep growl that overtakes his entire body.  We are both surprised by it, but giving in to our desires.

————-

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the TMI Tuesday blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!