We have this membership to one of those online chat sites. Last September I was feeling a little adventurous and asked Neo to pay for a year subscription. I didn’t do a lot of research at the time, thinking that most of those sites were “the same" and I didn't have anyone to ask for advice. I did want something that had couples we could eventually video sex chat with and this site seemed to have the recipe for that.
So, we joined and made up a little profile, nothing too scandalous. Just joining was a huge thrill, but that turned quickly into a culture shock on my part once he opened up the main chat room and started clicking on all the cams. He lined the tiny video squares across the top of the screen fitting at least 15 cams at any given time. Only one couple was on there out of many. Lots of profiles that said they were a couple, but only one would be visible on cam. Then, I started reading the chat. More than half of the people were talking about every day stuff and I quickly realized it was a community in which you could get to know people and the “regulars” were all having a good time. I have a group of girlfriends I’ve know online and now IRL for over 11 years, so I know that is a great thing. But, here’s the thing…I was here for sex, to get turned on, and the opposite was happening! There was one woman who was just in her kitchen, hanging out, chatting on the phone, and it seemed so odd to me. Mix that with the countless cams of guys jerking themselves front and center and girls providing a little cleavage and a flash of a boob every once in a while...I honestly didn't know what to think about it. And let's face it, to the average woman/person some of those guys on there just seem a bit creepy!
Please don’t get me wrong. I do not judge these people and I think it’s fabulous they have become friends who can show each other a good time. I was just not used to this and I had all kinds of internal dialogues going on in my head. “Do I want to be one of those girls?” “Does this turn me on?” “Do I want to make the effort to get to know any of them?” It was all a bit overwhelming for me and my sexual “issues.” Again, MY issue not theirs.
We made the effort to give it a little time, perhaps weed through to find some nice couples. I’ll pat myself on the back here for not giving it up immediately as I certainly would have in the past. Neo would open the chat room and cams almost daily and I got to recognizing some of the regular girls. They seemed really nice and fun. I didn't interact/type in the chat though and he didn’t either. Maybe just a quick Hi, but something held me back. Mostly he seemed to just hang there out of curiosity and perhaps to see if I would eventually be enticed to join in. I think one time I was giving Neo a blowjob in our darkly lit room and he turned the camera on…I didn’t notice much being more than slightly inebriated and I let him enjoy the moment. But, we never did that again and slowly the site went out of our minds as our actual bedroom time ramped up tenfold. (This is a really good thing!)
Fast forward to now, some nine months later. A lot has gone on in that period of time and I actually had forgotten about that site we paid for. Neo has brought up the possibility of having another guy or couple in our sex life. He even went so far as to ask a close couple who are our friends and openly swinging if they were interested. The husband was delighted by the idea, but the wife and I are not ready to cross that friend line and possibly/probably ruin things. I don’t think I will ever be, but you have to look back at all the things I have done lately and think “never say never.” By the way, that’s frightening! I told Neo real life friends, especially those in our small circle are out, but that I would be open to chat with some of our online/blogging friends. It’s an ideal situation for me because essentially they know about me as Nastassja and I feel accepted in that way. Our circle knows I’m kinky, but not exact details and not about the blog. The possibility is very exciting and I’m anticipating great things! We have already had a great chat with someone ;)
Then the other night, Neo remembers “the site” and we have the hatchings of something else entirely new and kinky, with a new frame of mind to go with it…
Should we try again? Has anything changed?
Stay tuned for part 2! It's hot. With photos.